I am letting him win by letting him control my life but I don’t know what else to do. I screwed up and it was all my fault and he won’t forgive me and I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep thinking of ways to get his attention and to get him to forgive me but nothing works. I can’t win. He won. I give up. Wave the white flag, throw in the towel. I can’t do this anymore.
What is the point? Aren’t relationships supposed to be easy, and fun, and you are supposed to talk all the time and be with each other all the time in the beginning. You aren’t supposed to not talk for hours on end and hope that they will pull through with what they said they would. How many times can he say he wants to come see me at night but then never does? Why? Just do what you say you are going to do or don’t say anything at all. All talk, no action. So you redeemed yourself today for about 10 minutes, then it was over. Make time or don’t be in a relationship. You want to get a taste of the college life? Then do it. Break up with me.
And I know it’s a double standard. Because I say that, but when it was actually talked about, I felt like my heart was breaking. A month in and I already care that much. So I am changing, and I am trying, why can’t you? Why can’t you try?